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Solar
10-18-2008, 09:24 PM
I'm really bored so I think I'll write a bit of a story.. Go ahead and leave thoughts and opinions on how to improve..

Chapter One:

It was night, and Dan was laying down in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was about 11 P.M., and he could not sleep. "Wow, this is really boring," he whispered lightly. He thought about getting up and going on VFKForums to check for updates, but decided not to. Dan closed his eyes. "I wish I could just magically fall asleep," he sighed. Randomly, his thoughts blurred into nothingness, and out of nowhere, a forest came into view. He looked around in confusion. "What just happened... where am I? he yelled out loud. All he got in return was an echo. There were a few things surrounding him; darkness, and a forest in front of him. He debated with himself if he should stay and wait for someone, or search in the forest for someone who could perhaps tell him what just happened. Dan shuddered. There was a terrible omen around him, and he felt scared. He knew something terrible was going to occur.

Dan swallowed the lump in his throat and began walking. The outer barrier of the trees looked as if they were just one flat wall, but as he stepped closer, he was proven wrong. As he became near, the trees enclosed behind him and he was unable to get out. "No!" Dan spat out into the night air. He received another long echo in return. Dan hit a nearby tree in frustration, and sat down. "Why did I walk in," he asked himself as he sat against the tree. A multitude of racing thoughts crowded his head, he wanted to know what had happened to his family. Would he ever be able to see them again? Were they alright? Had they been transported here too? About an hour passed, and he finally decided to look around for anything that could help him out. Unfortunately, there was nothing to discover, all he could see were a bunch of trees in perfect order. An ovewhelming sense that he was being followed clogged his thoughts, and he could not focus. He walked slower now, aware of a nearby conscience beside his own. Dan finally lost it, he twisted his head around in a whip like motion, expecting to see a face behind him. In return, he found something else, something very unexpected.

Our eyes met, and we both could not believe it. "...Coffee?" I said in complete shock. (That is what we call her in school; she can't stop drinking the stuff.)
"What are you doing here?!" we said in unison.
"I don't know," she said, "my eyes just drifted off and I showed up here a couple seconds later." As I looked into her eyes I could tell she was in the same amount of shock I was in.
“That happened to me too,” I said lightly, “I got off VFKForums and lay down, then next thing I know I’m confronted by a wall of dark forest.” We took another few seconds to compile everything that had just happened as we stared into each others eyes.
“Do you know where we are?” she asked quietly, “I don’t even know how I got here…”
“No I don’t, but I have this strange feeling something isn’t right, I’m not sure what it is… just a strange sensation something is going to go terribly wrong.” We walked for several minutes, both wordless. It was almost as if there was something wrong with her, she just doesn’t seem the same. “I think we should set up camp,” I said. She nodded her head, and we both sat down to rest. “I’ll get firewood, you set up some shelter. We have a long day ahead of us…”

Chapter Two:

-Solar

Graceful
10-18-2008, 11:00 PM
I think you should.

And as the story continues, you should add more VFK Players as characters, like your friends. Or people who ask to be in it.

Solar
10-18-2008, 11:37 PM
Thank you, I may do that :]

-Solar

lil_little_Jessie
10-19-2008, 12:17 AM
Great job it is really wonderful not a joke and i'm not kidding and i hope you enjoy the wonderful stories i make

Solar
10-19-2008, 10:38 AM
Gonna give this a Bumparoo.

-Solar

dan
10-19-2008, 10:43 AM
Nice story so far!

Solar
10-19-2008, 10:44 AM
Thanks Dan.. LOL. Love how I got you and VFKForums in there?.. (working a bit more now)

-Solar

lil_little_Jessie
10-19-2008, 12:56 PM
Just write more already

Solar
10-19-2008, 07:49 PM
I'm working on it, mylittle48 :-).

-Solar

lil_little_Jessie
10-19-2008, 10:30 PM
Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Solar
10-20-2008, 07:01 PM
Sorry for the delay.. Here is more of Chapter one


Dan swallowed the lump in his throat and began walking. The outer barrier of the trees looked as if they were just one flat wall, but as he stepped closer, he was proven wrong. As he became near, the trees enclosed behind him and he was unable to get out. "No!" Dan spat out into the night air. He received another long echo in return. Dan hit a nearby tree in frustration, and sat down. "Why did I walk in," he asked himself as he sat against the tree. A multitude of racing thoughts crowded his head, he wanted to know what had happened to his family. Would he ever be able to see them again? Were they alright? Had they been transported here too? About an hour passed, and he finally decided to look around for anything that could help him out. Unfortunately, there was nothing to discover, all he could see were a bunch of trees in perfect order. An ovewhelming sense that he was being followed clogged his thoughts, and he could not focus. He walked slower now, aware of a nearby conscience beside his own. Dan finally lost it, he twisted his head around in a whip like motion, expecting to see a face behind him. In return, he found something else, something very unexpected.

Moving to first page.

Yoshininja
10-20-2008, 07:21 PM
AWESOME. I like it

CoffeeWheat
10-20-2008, 07:45 PM
rawr put me in it please xD

lil_little_Jessie
10-20-2008, 10:57 PM
More!!!! Plz!!!

arina_dog
10-20-2008, 11:27 PM
Dude, I need to read more LOL

It's so good, I'm just hoping more characters are gonna be introduced ;)

Solar
10-22-2008, 06:55 PM
I will work on more tomorrow.. I do not have the time tonight. Thanks for all the wonderful comments though :-)..

-Solar

lil_little_Jessie
10-22-2008, 10:31 PM
so good i want to be in it (just in case Name for stories: Lovely or Jessie Jessie is my real name)

Solar
11-22-2008, 09:59 PM
Here is the last of chapter one.

Our eyes met, and we both could not believe it. "...Coffee?" I said in complete shock. (That is what we call her in school; she can't stop drinking the stuff.)
"What are you doing here?!" we said in unison.
"I don't know," she said, "my eyes just drifted off and I showed up here a couple seconds later." As I looked into her eyes I could tell she was in the same amount of shock I was in.
“That happened to me too,” I said lightly, “I got off VFKForums and lay down, then next thing I know I’m confronted by a wall of dark forest.” We took another few seconds to compile everything that had just happened as we stared into each others eyes.
“Do you know where we are?” she asked quietly, “I don’t even know how I got here…”
“No I don’t, but I have this strange feeling something isn’t right, I’m not sure what it is… just a strange sensation something is going to go terribly wrong.” We walked for several minutes, both wordless. It was almost as if there was something wrong with her, she just doesn’t seem the same. “I think we should set up camp,” I said. She nodded her head, and we both sat down to rest. “I’ll get firewood, you set up some shelter. We have a long day ahead of us…”

More?
-Solar

coolmikemike
11-22-2008, 10:09 PM
I think you should.

And as the story continues, you should add more VFK Players as characters, like your friends. Or people who ask to be in it.

yea, cough add me rofl

lil_little_Jessie
11-22-2008, 10:10 PM
more THE TICKETS DON'T FORGET (add me if you will)

Solar
11-22-2008, 10:10 PM
I added coffewheat.. she was the first to ask :-).

-Solar

coolmikemike
11-22-2008, 10:11 PM
can I please be in it and u can say im like the cool kid or something -makes puppy dog face -hehe

Solar
11-22-2008, 10:12 PM
can I please be in it and u can say im like the cool kid or something -makes puppy dog face -

I'll add you in as Mike if I can.. I don't want too many characters.

-Solar

lil_little_Jessie
11-22-2008, 10:13 PM
you can put more ppl as we go and cool mike and i MIGHT go in it

P.S. GO TO 'The Tickets'

Solar
11-22-2008, 10:15 PM
you can put more ppl as we go and cool mike and i MIGHT go in it

P.S. GO TO 'The Tickets'

I'll add you and Mike in if possible... and please stop advertising on my thread.

Thanks,
-Solar

lil_little_Jessie
11-29-2008, 11:54 AM
a-ok lol hope you write more soon